<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>In love, I am, with everything you do by 5ftjewishcactus</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24375742">In love, I am, with everything you do</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/5ftjewishcactus/pseuds/5ftjewishcactus'>5ftjewishcactus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman &amp; Terry Pratchett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Aziraphale Needs a Hug (Good Omens), Cake, Chubby Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Needs a Hug (Good Omens), Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Dessert &amp; Sweets, First Kiss, Food, Hugs, Kissing, Letters, Literally Slithering Over, Love, Love Confessions, Love Letters, No Sex, No Smut, Other, Pet Names, Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), Post-Episode: Good Omens: Lockdown, Snake Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:00:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,175</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24375742</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/5ftjewishcactus/pseuds/5ftjewishcactus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Following the phone call with Crowley during lockdown, Aziraphale contemplates the letter he wrote and whether he should've taken Crowley up on his offer to 'slither over' and watch him eat cake. Aziraphale finds the courage in his love for Crowley to invite the demon over and cake and love confessions and kisses are shared.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>120</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Aspec-friendly Good Omens, Good Omens Lockdown fics</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>In love, I am, with everything you do</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>While I have enjoyed many of the wonderful Lockdown fics, I wanted one that was explicitly asexual and took the 'slither over and watch you eat cake' line literally, since I saw a lot of people using it as more of an innuendo for sex. As a sex-repulsed fat ace with weight and food issues, these very obviously were not intended for me. So I decided to write the ace cakes lockdown fic I needed. Hopefully anyone else out there needing similar with find comfort in this fic. It was supposed to be a short fic but 5k words later, here it is. </p><p>As always with my fics, Aziraphale is fat, Aziraphale and Crowley are ace, but they are both still wonderfully in love with each other. I did try to use more words and writing regarding Aziraphale's weight. The word fat is used but only in positive terms. It is something I struggle writing because of my own weight. But lovely fat people such as myself and others, are lovely and wonderful and deserve to exist and deserve to enjoy cake and other baked goods without judgement. Especially right now. </p><p>Thank you again to the Soft Omens Snuggle House for their continued support and encouragement. Special thanks to Tarek for the extra help when I was doubting some sections.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>‘I could slither over and watch you eat cake.’</em>
</p><p>Aziraphale wouldn’t lie. The thought had been tempting. But oh, their relationship was still so new. There’d only been a few nights, not counting the night the world didn’t end, where they’d stayed the night in the same place. But staying together for a long period… Aziraphale was scared. What if Crowley didn’t like spending more than a night together? What if being stuck together ruined anything good they might have? What if the things Aziraphale enjoyed, reading and food, turned into things Crowley hated about him? Oh, Aziraphale didn’t want to risk it.</p><p>He loved Crowley. Dearly. So very dearly. It was why he’d called him. He missed him terribly. While they hadn’t spent every day since the almost apocalypse together, they’d spent enough days that when the lockdown occurred, it had only taken a couple of days for Aziraphale to start to miss him. That was when he’d found the cookbook section and began his baking adventures. He’d been trying to distract himself from the fact that he couldn’t just call Crowley up and say “Let’s have lunch” given that there was currently nowhere to go have lunch at.</p><p>Aziraphale looked down at the envelope on his desk. The one with the green wax seal. The reason he’d finally called Crowley. He’d written a letter first, trying to sort out his thoughts. Wasn’t completely sure if he was going to mail it or just save it. Wasn’t even sure if he’d let Crowley read it, in the end. It was very antiquated of him, writing a letter and sealing it with a wax seal. He knew that. But it was all Aziraphale knew, as a means for expressing himself comfortably. He picked up the envelope and held it so Crowley’s name and address were facing him.</p><p>He’d written about wanting to be braver. To tell Crowley the things he’d been too afraid to say. Had even said some of those things in the letter. And oh, wasn’t that just the thing. He’d called Crowley because the letter had made him feel brave. But when Crowley had suggested coming over, Aziraphale had become a coward again. </p><p>“Oh, Crowley,” he whispered, tears welling up in his eyes.</p><p>
  <em>‘I could slither over and watch you eat cake.’</em>
</p><p>Crowley could quite literally slither over. If he… if he slithered over during the night, when most people would be asleep anyway, no one would question a snake being out. Aziraphale had seen the newspaper. Articles about wild animals exploring the locked down cities across the globe. Anyone who did catch sight of a large black snake in the streets of London would just assume it was another case of a wild animal exploring the suddenly humanless landscape.</p><p>Aziraphale set the envelope down again and quickly stood to lunge for the phone. He hoped he wasn’t too late. That Crowley hadn’t already fallen asleep for the next two months.</p><p>The phone rang and rang and rang and for a moment, Aziraphale’s heart sank.</p><p>“What now?” came Crowley’s voice, finally.</p><p>“Oh, Crowley, I… I hope I didn’t wake you.”</p><p>“No, angel.” Crowley’s voice softened and Aziraphale smiled. “I wasn’t asleep yet. Is everything alright?”</p><p>“Oh. Oh yes. Everything is fine. It’s just… I was thinking…” Aziraphale paused a moment, trying to determine how best to present his idea. “Did you mean it?”</p><p>“Mean what?”</p><p>“That you could slither over?”</p><p>There was a sound like a snorted chuckle. Aziraphale tried not to frown.</p><p>“Would you like me to come over, angel?”</p><p>“As long as no one sees you. At least not as… as a human.”</p><p>Aziraphale’s grip on the phone tightened. He hoped he wasn’t overstepping.</p><p>“If I do… slither over, I can’t bring a case of anything. Or even a bottle. Would be too… conspicuous.”</p><p>A grin broke across Aziraphale’s face. “Oh, that’s fine. I have plenty of bottles for us to share. Adam did such a lovely job restoring my wine selection.”</p><p>“I’ll head over in a bit, yeah. Cover of darkness and all that.”</p><p>“I’ll leave the back door unlocked for you.”</p><p>“See you in a bit, angel.”</p><p>“See you, Crowley.”</p><p>Aziraphale hung up the phone and went to make sure the back door was, in fact, unlocked. He had locked it up after the break-in, but he could let it sit unlocked so Crowley could let himself in. Wouldn’t do for someone to see a large black snake entering through the front door.</p><p>And if… if Crowley did get bored or if… they needed time apart, Crowley could sneak back out the door and slither back to his flat. Oh yes, it would be absolutely perfect. He wiggled excitedly and looked over the table of baked goods. A few months ago, he might’ve been self-conscious about the amount of cakes and pastries and muffins and other baked goods he’d made and already consumed. Especially after Gabriel’s comment to him. But Crowley had been wonderfully reassuring. He’d offered to march back into Heaven and punch Gabriel in his “stupid face” but Aziraphale hadn’t wanted that. He’d only wanted to know what Crowley thought of him and his softness. And Crowley adored him. Loved watching him eat food because of how happy it made him. </p><p>“You’re the most beautiful being in all of creation,” Crowley had said, the first time he’d held Aziraphale in his arms. </p><p>That was maybe part of what Aziraphale had missed most of all since the lockdown had begun. The fact that Crowley would gladly wrap his arms around him and hold him and reassure him when he began to doubt himself. That he genuinely adored <em>all</em> of Aziraphale. </p><p>Content with the evening’s plans, Aziraphale picked up the book he’d been reading and continued where he’d left off, while he waited for Crowley to arrive.</p><p>*</p><p> </p><p>A few hours passed, Aziraphale engrossed in his book as one of his favorite Chopin records was playing softly. Suddenly, a heavy sound pulled him from his reading. A strange thud followed by rattling came from the back of the shop.</p><p>‘Crowley,’ Aziraphale thought with a smile, closing his book and sitting up.</p><p>He waited a moment, expecting the demon to come sauntering in but instead the rattling continued. The thought occurred to Aziraphale that perhaps his would-be burglars had returned. He stood and grabbed an umbrella from the coat rack. The sounds continued as he neared the back door. He lifted the umbrella, ready to use it in self-defense only if absolutely necessary. The back door swung open and a large black snake fell to the floor, making a loud THUMP sound as it met the hardwood flooring of the bookshop.</p><p>“Crowley,” Aziraphale sighed, lowering the umbrella. “Why didn’t you just change back to open the door?”</p><p>Crowley slithered further inside and slowly rose up to his usual height before he began to change back.</p><p>“I uh— I didn’t think about it,” he said, with a shrug once he was man-shaped again.</p><p>He winced and rubbed at his chest. Aziraphale shook his head but he couldn’t keep the fond smile off his face at finally seeing the demon in person again. Crowley turned to close and lock the door.</p><p>“Hey, angel,” he said, grinning as he turned back to Aziraphale.</p><p>“Hello, Crowley.” The angel smiled and stepped closer to his friend. More than a friend. “I have missed you.”</p><p>“I’ve missed you, too.”</p><p>Crowley made the next step forward, his uncovered golden eyes never leaving Aziraphale. The angel’s grip on the umbrella tightened, as he waited, wondering what might happen next. Should they shake hands? Kiss? Still part of the newest of their relationship that he wasn’t sure what he should do. So many years spent not touching, not wanting to be caught together and give the wrong idea to either of their sides. Aziraphale swallowed.</p><p>“May I hug you?” he asked.</p><p>He needed to be the brave one right now. He’d been the one to call Crowley, both times. To invite him over the second time. This next step was his to make too.</p><p>“Please,” Crowley replied, quietly, barely above a whisper.</p><p>Aziraphale leaned the umbrella against a stack of books, he would need both hands and arms for this. He stepped up to Crowley and carefully put his arms around the demon’s shoulders. Crowley wrapped his arms around Aziraphale’s rotund waist and leaned into his sturdy body, his chin tucked against the angel’s padded collarbone. Aziraphale held him tightly, comforted by the feel of Crowley in his arms. Despite having just slithered in from outside, he was surprisingly warm. And so very solid, even with his lanky frame. Crowley breathed in and sighed, contentedly, relaxing further into Aziraphale’s arms.</p><p>They stood like that for several minutes, though time didn’t mean much to them the way it might to humans. Both comforted by the presence of the other pressed against them.</p><p>Finally, Crowley moved to stand back and looked at Aziraphale.</p><p>“I believe I came over to watch you eat cake,” he said, a mischievous grin on his face.</p><p>“I do believe you did.”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled back at him, his nose scrunching in delight. He grabbed the umbrella again and turned to lead Crowley into the bookshop properly.</p><p>“Were you going to attack me with an umbrella, angel?” Crowley asked, tone teasing.</p><p>“It was only a precaution. I thought perhaps you were the burglars coming back to finish the job.”</p><p>“Threatening burglars with umbrellas and sending them home with cakes. You’re ridiculous.”</p><p>Aziraphale frowned. He shooed Crowley towards the back room and tucked the umbrella away and then went to join Crowley.  </p><p>Crowley had made himself at home, reclined on the couch like he always did. The table, which normally would end up covered in various empty wine bottles and glasses, was currently covered in various plates of cakes and cookies and pies and pastries and loaves of bread.</p><p>“You really did bake quite a lot.”</p><p>“Yes, well…” Aziraphale’s hands smoothed over the plumpness of his stomach, soft and round underneath his waistcoat. “…once I discovered the cookbooks, I couldn’t decide which recipes to try so I… tried them all.”</p><p>Crowley laughed. “Of course you did. Oh, angel, please never change.”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled gleefully. “I don’t plan on it.”</p><p>He loved making Crowley laugh. The way his face would light up as he did. Aziraphale wanted to keep seeing that lovely face so happy and at ease.</p><p>“So, what cake shall it be, angel?” Crowley asked, watching Aziraphale intently.</p><p>Aziraphale eyed the many desserts spread out across the table. Perhaps some of the angel’s food cake or— oh some of the schwarzwälder kirschtorte or there was the red velvet cake. He hadn’t had a chance to try the red velvet cake yet. And oh, he’d left himself with too many choices. How would he ever choose which dessert to eat now?</p><p>Crowley chuckled. “Too many choices, angel?”</p><p>Aziraphale jumped a little at the sound of Crowley’s voice. Then an idea occurred to him. “Why… yes. How about you choose while I go grab us a bottle of wine?”</p><p>Crowley raised an eyebrow at that and Aziraphale only smiled and headed off towards where he kept the wine. It was in a cabinet all the way in the very back, kept cool thanks to the old brick walls that lined the exterior of the bookshop. Helped by a miracle or two to keep this particular corner cool year-round, so the wine stayed regardless of how long it had been there. The cabinet was dark brown wood, with rows and rows of rounded dips perfect for holding various bottles of wine and champagne. Including a few very old bottles from centuries and eons long gone. Aziraphale eyed the cabinet carefully, making sure to select the best wine for this particular occasion.</p><p>Bottle in hand, he returned to the backroom where Crowley appeared to have not moved since Aziraphale had left him. The angel went to chide him when he caught sight of the new plate and a single slice of red velvet cake sitting perfectly by Aziraphale’s chair.</p><p>“Oh,” Aziraphale said, smiling. “Perfect. I brought a Pinot Noir. Should pair wonderfully with the red velvet.”</p><p>He carefully opened the bottle and poured them each a glass. Crowley finally sat up again as Aziraphale handed him a glass. His golden eyes still watched Aziraphale, unhidden, unguarded. It occurred to Aziraphale that Crowley could’ve easily pulled another pair out of his inner jacket pocket, as he’d done many times before, using a miracle to pull them from the glove box in the Bentley no matter where he was. But he hadn’t. It wasn’t unusual for Crowley to eventually remove his glasses when spending an evening with Aziraphale. Usually several glasses in.</p><p>It was new that he’d arrived without them and hadn’t once taken a moment to put any on. None sat waiting on the table or even on the couch. He’d left himself open and bare to Aziraphale.</p><p>“Everything alright, angel?” Crowley asked.</p><p>Aziraphale nodded. “You have the most beautiful eyes.”</p><p>Crowley made a sound, several syllables that didn’t actually make a word when put together but enough to convey his surprise at the compliment. He ducked his head a moment, as a blush began to spread across his face. Aziraphale smiled.</p><p>“Th… thank you,” Crowley eventually replied.</p><p>“You’re welcome, dear.”</p><p>Crowley took a sip of his wine and finally looked back up at Aziraphale. The angel sat down in his chair and eyed the slice of red velvet cake waiting for him. He took a sip of his wine and set the glass down. He miracled up a napkin and set it in his lap, before picking up the fork. From his peripheral he could see Crowley watching him, as he picked up a small bite of cake and slowly brought it up to his mouth. As that first bite slipped between his lips, he saw Crowley lean forward. Aziraphale closed his eyes as he savored the flavor of the cake on his tongue, the chocolate and cream cheese melting on his tongue in a blend of sweet flavors.</p><p>“MMmmm…” he moaned.</p><p>He chewed and swallowed the bite before opening his eyes. Crowley was leaning forward, one hand under his chin as he leaned his elbow on his knee.</p><p>“Good?” he asked, yellow eyes wide.</p><p>Aziraphale blushed. “Uh— well… yes. It seems I followed the recipe impeccably.”</p><p>Crowley smiled at him, fondly. “Good.”</p><p>The demon took a sip of his wine. Aziraphale took another small bite of the cake. The second bite was just as good as the first. He couldn’t help the little hum that escaped his lips.</p><p>“Would you like to try a bite?” he asked, looking over to Crowley who was leaning so far forward it was amazing he was still sitting on the couch.</p><p>Crowley nodded. “Yes.”</p><p>He set his wine glass on the table and stood in one fluid movement. He moved to sit on the arm of the chair Aziraphale occupied and looked down at the angel. Aziraphale had picked up another bite of the cake and was bringing it up to offer to Crowley when the demon leaned in and kissed Aziraphale. The fork fell to the floor as Aziraphale’s hand moved to cup Crowley’s cheek as the demon kissed him. Crowley’s lips were warm and soft against his own and his fingers in Aziraphale’s hair were gentle. Aziraphale moaned into the kiss, practically pulling Crowley onto his lap.</p><p>They continued to kiss for several long minutes, time again shifting differently for them than for humans. For all Aziraphale knew, time had stopped and the only things that existed were he and Crowley, as their lips moved against each other.</p><p>Crowley eventually leaned his forehead against Aziraphale’s forehead and sighed softly.</p><p>“Delicious,” he said, gently cupping Aziraphale’s cheek. “The cake, too.”</p><p>Aziraphale giggled at that and blushed.</p><p>“Oh,” he said and glanced down to the floor where the fork and bite of cake lay forgotten.</p><p>He pouted as he looked up at Crowley who snapped his fingers and the fork and bite returned to the plate on the table.</p><p>“Oh, thank you, my dear.” Aziraphale grinned.</p><p>“Anything for you, angel.”</p><p>He reached over for the fork and brought it up so he could feed the bite to Aziraphale. The angel’s eyes never left Crowley’s as he ate the bite. It felt strangely more intimate than the kisses they’d shared only moments ago. Crowley set the fork down as Aziraphale swallowed the bite. The demon’s fingers trailed delicately along Aziraphale’s cheek.</p><p>“I love you,” he whispered, as though it were too much to speak too loudly.</p><p>Aziraphale smiled at him. “I love you, too, Crowley.”</p><p>Crowley leaned in and kissed him again, a quick press of lips that were soft and gentle. Aziraphale wrapped his arm around Crowley’s waist and pulled the demon onto his lap.</p><p>“Angel,” Crowley said, startled but wrapped his arms around Aziraphale anyway.</p><p>“I’ve kept you at arm's length for far too long, my dear.” He gently cupped Crowley’s cheek, this thumb brushing along the bone. “No more. I want you right here. Always.”</p><p>Crowley smiled. “Angel.” It was spoken softly, with reverence, like the most holy word Crowley knew to speak. It sounded like love.</p><p>“My love.” Aziraphale pulled Crowley in for another kiss.</p><p>Aziraphale had spent years wanting to kiss Crowley. To hold him close. To love him freely and openly. The way the demon deserved. And now he could. All the fear he’d felt earlier when he’d originally turned down Crowley’s offer melted away as he clung to Crowley and Crowley clung to him. One of Crowley’s arms wrapped around his plump waist while the other curled into his hair again, as they continued to kiss. Aziraphale’s own fingers curled into Crowley’s hair, having shifted from when he’d gently cupped his face to pull him in for these kisses. He loved Crowley’s hair. All its forms and lengths and styles. Bright red that he could spot in a crowd and recognize as Crowley. Always Crowley. Only Crowley.</p><p>The demon shifted again, his legs on either side of Aziraphale’s lap so he could more easily deepen the kiss. The chair they were in would miraculously hold them, because they believed that it would and because Aziraphale wouldn’t stand for anything less than having his favorite being in his lap as he sat in his favorite chair. This time, Crowley moaned into the kiss as his lips moved soft and sure against Aziraphale’s. The angel answered in kind. Despite the fact that they’d only just kissed for the first time only moments ago, they kissed each other like they’d been kissing for years, centuries, eons even. He knew it was because they knew each other so well in so many other ways, other aspects, that it was easy to translate it to kissing.</p><p>Aziraphale was the one to end the kiss this time, reluctant though he was to pull away from his love. He smiled as he looked up at Crowley, whose yellow eyes had completely taken over leaving no white visible at all. Those eyes that only ever saw him, the real him, the him that he’d kept hidden from Heaven for so long.</p><p>“Oh, my darling, my dearest, my heart,” Aziraphale said, brushing the fingers of one hand against the edge of those eyes.</p><p>“That’s not fair,” Crowley replied, though he leaned his cheek against Aziraphale’s hand.</p><p>“What’s not fair?”</p><p>“I’ve been calling you angel for years and here you are throwing out four new pet names in a single night.”</p><p>“Well, I have catching up to do, don’t I?”</p><p>“Angel.” Crowley held Aziraphale’s hand to his cheek and gently kissed his palm. “Sweetheart.” A kiss to Aziraphale’s left cheek. “Beloved.” A kiss to Aziraphale’s left cheek. “Treasure.” A kiss to Aziraphale’s forehead. “Dove.” A kiss to Aziraphale’s nose. “Light of my life.” A kiss to Aziraphale’s double chin. “My everything.” And one last kiss to Aziraphale’s lips. </p><p>The angel chuckled. “Crowley, dearheart. I love you. Will you stay?”</p><p>Crowley nodded. “As long as you’ll keep me.”</p><p>“Forever then.”</p><p>“Angel.” Crowley leaned into Aziraphale, tucking his head against Aziraphale's shoulder. “You’ll get bored of me.”</p><p>“I haven’t yet. And honestly, of the two of us, you’re more likely to get bored of me.”</p><p>Crowley sat up, looking affronted. “I would never.”</p><p>“Oh, Crowley. I know I’m old fashioned and out of style. And I read all the time. I know you don’t like reading…”</p><p>Crowley held a finger to Aziraphale’s mouth before he could finish talking. “I never said I don’t like it. I said I didn’t read. Which is technically true. It’s hard for me to read. With my eyes. Takes me longer to read the written word. But the humans came up with audiobooks. I can listen to books. So I don’t read them. And I could listen to you read. Spend hours listening to you read whatever you want.”</p><p>“Oh, darling, why didn’t you ever say anything?”</p><p>Crowley shrugged. “I guess I was embarrassed. Didn’t want you to think less of me.”</p><p>Aziraphale shook his head and gently held Crowley’s chin. “I wouldn’t. Never have. Not as long as we’ve known each other. And of course I’ll read to you.”</p><p>Crowley smiled. Aziraphale kissed him, a quick peck.</p><p>“I love you, Crowley, my darling, my love. Please never be embarrassed or afraid to tell me anything. Nothing could ever make me love you any less.”</p><p>The demon nodded. “Same to you, angel. Please.”</p><p>The angel nodded. “Always.”</p><p>They smiled at each other a moment. Still holding the other after their many declarations and promises which had only brought them closer together. </p><p>“You should finish your cake,” Crowley finally suggested. </p><p>“I suppose I should.”</p><p>Crowley shifted, as though he were going to stand up but Aziraphale kept his arms around the demon’s waist.</p><p>“Angel.”</p><p>“Nope. I can eat cake with you right here.”</p><p>Crowley laughed again and this time Aziraphale joined him, finding Crowley’s laugh infectious. Crowley tucked himself more comfortably on Aziraphale’s lap, so the angel could easily eat without the demon in the way. Aziraphale grabbed the fork and took another bite of the cake. Crowley watched him the entire time, eyes never leaving him as he enjoyed every last bite of the red velvet cake. Not even the few times Crowley would lean in and kiss him. The kisses didn’t last as long as some of their previous kisses, Crowley merely leaning in because he wanted to and because he could. Which Aziraphale didn’t mind.</p><p>Once the cake was gone, Aziraphale set aside the plate and fork and grabbed the napkin from his lap to dab at his lips. As soon as he’d set the napkin aside with everything else, Crowley swooped in for another kiss. None of the kisses were leading to anything. That was something they’d discussed early on. Well… even before they’d officially been attempting a relationship really. Aziraphale had brought it up the night of the almost apocalypse. When he’d been staying at Crowley’s flat. After Crowley had offered for Aziraphale to come sleep with him. Aziraphale had flushed and flustered about how he wasn’t interested in all that. Crowley hadn’t been either, at the time, or any other time after. He’d simply meant for them to actually sleep, after the day they’d had. Aziraphale still wasn’t necessarily good at the whole sleeping thing, but he’d been content to hold Crowley while he’d slept.</p><p>Now was much the same. Neither of them were interested in that sort of thing. Aziraphale would be perfectly content to sit there and continue to kiss Crowley as long as he liked. Never would need for anything more. And Crowley seemed to feel the same.</p><p>“Angel,” Crowley said with a grin when he finally stopped kissing Aziraphale long enough to sit up and look at him again, “I’m so glad you called. Both times.”</p><p>“Me too.”</p><p>“Why did you call again? What changed your mind?”</p><p>Aziraphale’s eyes glanced towards the letter waiting on his desk. The one he’d written before the first phone call. He looked back at Crowley and only saw love in those golden eyes watching him.</p><p>“Well, I’d missed you… so terribly. And… I’d written a letter you see. Before I called the first time. And I realized that even if I sent it, even if you got it, there was a chance I wouldn’t see you for two months and… and that simply wouldn’t do.”</p><p>“You wrote me a letter?”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded.</p><p>“Do I get to read it?”</p><p>Aziraphale pointed at his desk. “Over there. With the green seal.”</p><p>Crowley stood and made his way over to Aziraphale’s desk. The angel watched as Crowley eyed the various items on his desk. His fingers skipped over the portraits of the two of them.</p><p>“I… I never knew it was a set,” he said, glancing back at Aziraphale.</p><p>“I didn’t either, until he gifted them to me.”</p><p>Crowley nodded and looked back at the desk. He continued looking until this time his eyes landed upon the quill pen Aziraphale had used to write the letter. He lifted it gently and inspected it rather closely. Aziraphale tensed for a moment, afraid maybe it was an overstep. It was one of Crowley’s feathers, after all.</p><p>“How long have you had this, angel?” Crowley asked.</p><p>“Since… since Eden. You left it on the wall and… I didn’t know if I’d ever see you again. I hoped perhaps. It’s only been a quill since 1865. When we weren’t speaking. I missed you then, too. I wrote you several letters I never sent.”</p><p>Crowley set the quill down carefully before he returned to Aziraphale and kissed him again. “Angel, sweetheart.” He leaned his forehead against Aziraphale’s. “I love you, so very much.”</p><p>“I love you, too, dearheart.”</p><p>Crowley kissed him again and smiled. Aziraphale gave an excited wiggle, unable to contain all the love he felt in his being.</p><p>“The letter!” The demon rushed back to the desk and this time grabbed the envelope with his name and address on it.</p><p>“’Anthony J. Crowley, Esq.’” Crowley grinned at this, as he settled himself in Aziraphale’s lap again.</p><p>He turned the envelope over and looked at the seal on it. It wasn’t Aziraphale’s usual seal. This one was different. New. It had two wings outstretched with a snake looping around them. At the bottom were the letters ‘A&amp;C’ in Aziraphale’s script.</p><p>“Angel,” Crowley said, looking at him again.</p><p>“Our side, right? I had one made for you, if you’d like.”</p><p>Crowley nodded. He slid his finger under the seal and carefully lifted it, so he didn’t break it. Then he opened the envelope and carefully pulled out the letter. Aziraphale wrapped his arms around Crowley’s waist as the demon unfolded the letter.</p><p>“Will… will you read it to me?” Crowley asked.</p><p>“Of course.” </p><p>Crowley held the letter for Aziraphale to read. </p><p>It read:</p><p>
  <em>‘Dearest Crowley,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Since the lockdown began, I’ve found myself missing you. I know in the past we’ve spent years without seeing each other. Especially in the beginning. But oh… these last eleven years I grew used to you being there, whenever I needed you. I don’t know how you always knew I needed you. Or if you simply needed me too. While everything we did the last eleven years might’ve been for not, given that young Warlock was the wrong boy, I don’t regret a moment I spent with you. All of our secret meetings and late nights in the gardener’s cottage. Sometimes I wish I had kissed you, one of those nights. What might’ve happened if I had. What might’ve been different, when things came to light.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But oh, I can’t dwell on what if. Part of me does wish though, that I’d let you stay that night. Before the lockdown began. Then you’d be here with me. Selfish of me, though, to wish for you to be here just because I’m lonely. I’ve begun baking. I wish you were here to see it. I bet you’d enjoy the devil’s food cake I made. I even dyed the icing red, just for you. Maybe I’ll send you a slice when I send this letter. If I sent this letter.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh, Crowley. I miss you so much. I wish you were here so I could tell you all the things I wish I’d said sooner. Things I haven’t had the courage to say sooner. Maybe it would be easier if I wrote them to you instead. Like… I love you. Have loved you for so many years. But I was too scared to say it. To show it. I couldn’t risk losing you. I think I’ve loved you for longer than I knew, but it wasn’t until that night with the books and the church that I realized it. You saved my books. You didn’t have to. You didn’t need to. But you did because they were important to me. Even when I forgot about them. Because I was saving you, after you’d saved me yet again. I was so surprised to see you then. I had been so sure I’d never see you again. Not like that. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I love you, Crowley, wholeheartedly. I hope you are doing well, during all this. I hope to see you soon.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Yours,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Always,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Aziraphale’</em>
</p><p>Crowley turned to look at Aziraphale, tears in his eyes. “Oh, angel. My angel. I love you.” He gently held Aziraphale’s face and kissed him again. Gently and softly.</p><p>Aziraphale reached up to brush away the tears as Crowley smiled at him. “Thank you. For writing this and calling me and letting me come over. And I did need you. So much during those years. And now. You’ve always been my center, angel. The brightest star I revolve around.”</p><p>“Oh Crowley. My Crowley. I love you.”</p><p>“I love you, too, my angel.”</p><p>Aziraphale kissed him again. Crowley tucked the letter back into the envelope and set it on the table. He shifted so he could curl against Aziraphale, with his head resting against Aziraphale’s shoulder while he wrapped his arms around the angel’s fat middle. Aziraphale put his arms around Crowley in return and held him. They spent the rest of the night curled together in Aziraphale’s chair. Crowley dozed for a little bit and Aziraphale read. Eventually, they both moved and made their way upstairs to the flat above the bookshop, and Crowley curled into the bed and Aziraphale held him and read to him until he fell asleep again.</p><p>They spent the next several weeks together. Baking and drinking and eating and reading. And when the lockdown finally lifted, Aziraphale accompanied Crowley back to his flat and they tended to his plants and began to make plans to find a home all their own, so they could spend the rest of their days together under one roof. A home of their own.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Crowley letting himself into the bookshop in snake form was inspired by <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bxc_55ur-J4">this video</a>. CW for large snake in the video linked.  </p><p>You can follow me on tumblr <a href="https://5ftjewishcactus.tumblr.com/">@5ftjewishcactus</a> or on twitter on my main <a href="https://twitter.com/5ftjewishcatus">@5ftjewishcactus</a> or on my sfw gen fandom <a href="https://twitter.com/2ambiace">@2ambiace</a> or my dbh <a href="https://twitter.com/asexualhankcon">@asexualhankcon</a>.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>